Okay so I can't be having the time of my life the whole time I am here. And if this blog is really about me and my journey then I have to include the not so awesome parts.
I woke up this morning feeling not quite right. I didn't feel like getting out of bed, but I did. I decided that I was going to take the bus to a town called Aylesbury, about 30 minutes from Thame. I figured I would look around and see what kind of shopping I could find, plus I have a few more things that I want to get. I was hoping to come upon an ASDA (which is part of the Walmart group).
I showered, made my coffee. Got ready and had some breakfast. I left for the bus still feeling... well sad for myself. I met a nice lady on the bus who told me about Thame and she even showed me how to get to the main street in Aylesbury. I walked through the mall and I happened to find a shop that makes sweets that my aunt has been telling me about. So I got excited! I went in and bought some of the toffee. I thought alright, it is looking up! I walked out onto the streets and just started walking because I had no idea where I was going. The whole time I was not feeling it, I could feel that my face did not have the usual perma-grin that it has had for the most part since I got here. I even thought buying some clothes would help. But no, even though I did find some sweet deals. Like a vest for 8 pounds which isn't even $16. Two pairs of jeans for 25 pounds. I walked around some more and realized that there was no point me being there if I wasn't enjoying it.
I got back on the bus and headed home. When I walked into my place I went directly up the stairs dumped my stuff at the top. And crawled into bed. Maybe a nap would help. I slept for about 45 minutes and here I am still in bed, surrounded by junk food and not really feeling it still. You know it is true about human contact being truly important. It can really make a difference in how someone feels. I am craving a good meaningful hug right now!
I even have plans for tonight, I am going to a local pub with some girls from work. I should be looking forward to that. I am sure that is what I need! I am hoping in the next 3 hours I can pull my head out of my a** and go out for a good time.
Sorry for the realness of my post today, but I needed someone to talk to and who else better than those that are joining me virtually on my journey!
Oh Tiana. HUGS!!! Tonite you may not feel like going but it will be the start of something. A meet a greet. Wish I was there so we could grab some tea. You have lots of love from Canada and know we are all thinking of you. Lots of love.
ReplyDeleteJust know that my thoughts are with you. I am only an email or skype (which I will set up again) away. You are missed and loved!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteStay positive Tiana. Things will get better!
ReplyDeleteHow did your night at the pub go?
No Spin Class on Fridays yet. I guess I'll have to go on Tues. / Thurs.
Yikes!
Have a relaxing Monday.
Audrey
Oh Honey girl!!! Wish I had seen this earlier... Hope you are in a better space now, but if not, I am sending hugs, love, and a bottle of wine! We think and talk of you so often....are your ears burning?? Just know that you are loved very very much!!! Keep posting things whenever you feel lonely and keep being REAL...it is SO important!! Hoping to use my Airmiles..... Diane XOXO
ReplyDelete